I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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