did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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