I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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