he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
