Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
