Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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