Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
