just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
