If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
