my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
