Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have post one night stand depression
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