No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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