You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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