This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
