Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
