I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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