dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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