I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
