just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
