ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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