nut hugger
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
