If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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