4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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