I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
