I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
