Taylor Swift is so right about you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize