all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
