Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
