For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
