All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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