Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
