be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
