Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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