There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
