I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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