It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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