Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
