apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
