oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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