Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
