Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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