Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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