some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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