Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
