Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
are you so shy because you have an std?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
