I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
