You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We left an ass print on the piano.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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