I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
