Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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