i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
