You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
