So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
