I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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