im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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