Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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