i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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