eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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